Back in the day, when clubs came into vogue, romance involved the gentleman administering a blow to his beloved's head and then dragging her unconscious body back to his cave.
Continuing that tradition, the internet hosts many sites where you can order internet brides. Of course, you can't bash them senseless these days (though boys will be boys! Wink!) but since there is a good chance these lovely ladies are shackled by economic and/or social factors, you can be assured that the hunter/prey dynamic that makes love affairs so thrilling will still be present!
If you're running a 2-hour Introduction to Ordering Internet Brides class this may be a good way to structure the program.
10am Provide patrons with a list of popular sites. Encourage them to browse so they can get a sense of what types of human merchandise are available.
10.30am Have a brief discussion on the pros and cons of brides from specific continents relying heavily upon cultural stereotypes - the reliable Eastern European design, the feisty Latina model, and the sleek Asian compact. Remind patrons that although it's free to order on these sites, significant financial outlays may be needed to keep their products in condition once they arrive.
10.45am The sites will require patrons to create profiles so the brides-to-be can get an idea of their intended's personality. This consists mainly of checking a selection of hundreds of little boxes (eg. want children, have children, unfit to parent, heavy build, medium build, slender build but still strong enough to wield a club etc.) so it will be good mouse practice for the patrons and provides a great opportunity for them to express themselves.
11.15am Show patrons how to upload their picture onto their profiles. Also give advice on how to select and prepare photos that will show them to their best advantage (eg. cropping out current wives, especially if the divorce papers are still being processed).
11.45am A fantastic way to end the class on a high note is to get patrons to print off copies of their future brides' profiles. The class can then mingle and show off everything they've accomplished in just 2 hours!
12.00pm Lunch.
6 comments:
Mate, I think this is a class we need to kick off!!
I bought a mail order bride once but she got lost in the post and never arrived :(
Kath, I saw you the other day when you came to MTG. When you said you actually read the blogs, I started counting down the seconds till I was fired. I'm very relieved and happy to discover that you are, like me, a forward thinker! Also, I checked out cakewrecks. Funny... and kinda gross. And I'll eat anything.
We don't care what you blog about, so long as you are doing it, thinking about what you're doing, and not slandering the organisation while you're doing it!
It's the skills you use in your 23 Things, not the content, that's the important bit.
What about the Bride of Frankenstein, was she purchased or was it true love
D'op I forgot the ?
(Bride of Frankenstein)
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