Facebook - the harbinger of societal collapse or something far more sinister?

Patrons are quick to tell me that the self-checkout machines will soon put me out of a job.

I try not to become alarmed, assuring myself that should such a time come when my skills are made redundant by rampant technology, I will simply become a robot.

This comforts me a little, but having seen the Terminator movies, I know that technology will eventually lead to the near destruction of the human race. And while I'm happy to become a robot, it doesn't seem fair that everyone should have to, right? (The films have also readied me for the realities of time travel - arriving at my destination in a storm of electricity, I will find myself nude, making it necessary to steal clothes from the nearest bum. Always best to know these things in advance.)

Even though technology may come attached to an ample dose of curse, it's nice to see the library service offering ways for the public to become familiar with the new stuff available, particularly on the net.

I've always been a bit technologically retarded, but at the urging of friends, I opened up a Facebook account.

Facebook has taught me that 'friend' is not only a noun, but also a verb. You can be 'friended' on Facebook by people you've only acquaintanced in real life giving you a skewed but pleasurable sense of your own popularity. This social networking site can also put you back in touch with people you thought you'd successfully ex-ed or enemied and cut out of your life forever. It really is something.

The Facebook wall is where all your friends basically graffiti on your account, and everyone can read what came into their head when they thought of you. It's like a text message except not private at all and sometimes cringe-inducing if you have a generous 'friending' policy that includes past bosses, teachers, friends' mothers, and mutual acquaintances who don't get along. If you're like me, not sure what to write and Queen of the Faux Pas, just go with something generic like, "hey dood! r u4 realz? luv the new pics. catchya babe! xxxooo". You might feel a bit stupid the first twenty or so times you do it, but being in front of the computer screen for hours on end has a numbing effect on the brain and after a while you don't feel a thing.

In fact, some Facebook experts say that if you spend long enough on it, you feel like the clicks come automatically. Like the keyboard is an extension of your hand, and the Facebook wall is an extension of your soul.

As C3PO once wisely said: We're doomed.